Here’s to 2014!

Here’s the wild and crazy crew with whom we spend every New Year’s Eve. We’ve shared the last moments of each year with the Kilgore family for as long as I can remember. We also included two couples who have joined the crew in the past. Welcome, once again, Jones and Dunnagan families!! Notice Trey who joined us in the picture via Facetime on Terry’s cell. We missed you Trey!! (A few more fun pics at the end of this post.)

I don’t have to tell anyone who follows this blog I will never forget nine months of 2013 . . . although I’d much prefer to erase them forever from my memory, no doubt, there is a reason for them. As I reflect, it will go down as one of the darkest years of my life. (I pray it will end up being the darkest with much brighter ones to come.) I have always hated odd numbers – ridiculous but true.

Needless to say, the thought of a new beginning, a new year, a new mind (and a healthy body) was a welcoming one for me. There is much to process about what I’ve learned and am learning on this unexpected journey but I know two things heading into 2014. I want this year to be a banner for what my great God has done and is going to do in my life, and I want to approach each day with more confidence in God’s unchanging character (instead of my ever-changing emotions). I am so sick of this disease dictating my emotions. We’ll see how that goes. It will take oodles of prayer and time in the Word! Anyway, I am still processing so much but I wanted to share this incredible “God moment” with you today.

A precious sister-in-Christ (who has also had a less-than-stellar 2013) gifted me with the “Jesus Today” app for my iPhone. I use the “Jesus Calling” app daily and knew the JT app would be a welcome addition to my daily time with the Lord. I have the books as well but the apps are so convenient because I have them with me wherever I go.

Well, today – which happened to be the first day of the new year – I was on Day 5 (This book doesn’t go by date but rather by number). This is what it said . . .

I will restore you to health and heal your wounds. I am with you, within you, all around you – continually at work in your life. When your awareness of Me grows dim, My Presence continues to shine brightly upon you. This Light has immense healing Power. So dare to ask great things of Me, remembering who I am. I am able to do exceedingly abundantly above all you ask or think. Pondering My limitless ability to help you will strengthen your faith and encourage you to pray boldly.

Praying in My Name – with perseverance – can accomplish great things. Learn from the parable of the persistent widow, who refused to give up. She kept bringing her petition to a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. Eventually, her persistence wore him down, and he gave her what she sought. How much more will I respond to My children who cry out to Me day and night! Though you may have to wait a long time, do not give up. For everyone who asks and keeps on asking receives; he who seeks and keeps on seeking finds.

”But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord, because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.” Jeremiah 30:17

”Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundant above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.”  Ephesians 3:20

”I tell you, he will see that they get justice and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”  Luke 18:1-8

”For everyone who asks and keeps on asking receives; and he who seeks and keeps on seeking finds; and to him who knocks and keeps knocking, the door shall be opened.”  Luke 11:10

You can imagine my elation as I read this entry knowing what my heart desired for the new year – a new mindset, a new body and a deeper, persistent faith in Him. How timely the “Day 5” entry was! You see, the prayer warriors I know who fast for me every week had told me on the same week this past year that the Lord had laid Eph. 3:20 on their hearts and He wanted them to pray this over me. I also received a letter from another friend who had written my name in her Bible next to Eph 3:20 two years earlier. Clearly, God was trying to tell me something. And here He was using the same scripture as I enter 2014 to remind me He is the God of the impossible.

Not only this, but I have also shared the salience of the “ask, seek, knock” passage from my study in the book of Matthew this year in BSF. God actually allowed me to live out this passage in November when I was at MDA. One of my prayer warrior friends and I have discussed more than once how God is continually reminding us of the need to be persistent and bold in prayer. We can’t give-up. We can’t pray half-heartedly. We must pray and pray continually. And, here was the same passage in my JT reading today (this passage is also included in the Gospel of Luke as quoted here).

Needless to say, I was greatly encouraged in the way the Lord confirmed through my reading in “Jesus Today” what He has been showing me and my friends through this journey. I want to believe and will continue praying, with all of my being, that 2014 will be the year of my healing. That He will show Himself in ways exceedingly abundantly more than we could ask or imagine. And, that we will see and know what He has done because we were a part of it . . . faithfully, on our knees.

May 2014 be a year of His blessings and our growth.

 
Our best attempt at capturing the youngest members of the annual NYE celebration. Alexa Hope with cousins, Rylen and Layton. And the Kilgore crew – Aubrey & Caden and Malachi & Luke.


Just a glimpse of the produce it takes for me to have three 8 oz. organic juices every day for approximately six days. My mom lovingly preps my juice packets every week. The cleaning and sorting process takes approximately two hours. Doing “clean” juicing using the Gerson Method, which requires reverse-osmosis water and all organic produce and cleansing methods is intense but it is one of the ways we are fighting this disease and keeping me healthy. Some day, I’ll blog about how a Norwalk juicer works – it is equally time consuming. Ty Mom, Dad and Chris for your continual labor of love to keep me healthy!!

Bone scan update

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:13-14

Hi friends. Just wanted to update you on the latest. I also want to thank Jen K. for reminding me of this beautiful verse earlier this weekend. Another friend shared this passage with me this summer and highlighted the beautiful promise of seeing His goodness "in the land of the living." I'm clinging to that, and goodness I needed this passage this weekend (more on that later - back to the update).

I received a call from Dr. Keefer's nurse this afternoon, and the initial reviews of my bone scan revealed nothing remarkable concerning metastatic disease. It noted some osteo-arthritic activity but all looks well. Dr. Keefer is out until Thursday so he hasn't seen it, but we'll take that news for now :) I'll call Friday to see what he thinks. I'm so thankful for your faithful prayers as I truly believe when my army of prayer warriors is interceding in boldness on my behalf, God has done some incredible things. At the very least I experience a peace that rarely happens on a day-to-day basis, but almost always, something incredible happens with His fingerprints all over it.

I can say I experienced that peace in this situation. On Saturday and Sunday, the Lord washed over me with His peace. I am very thankful for that as Christmas Day and the two days following were dark. I was melancholy most of Christmas Day. I cried at my appointment and let Dr. Keefer know, with tears rolling down my cheeks, that I didn't want to be there that day. I was angry and sad at my bone scan (poor techs taking my images. I was cooperative, just not my joking self). I realize all of this is grief, frustration, and oftentimes, bitterness that this is my lot. I feel like I am always working through these emotions, especially when I am hurting or I look around and don't see anyone my age walking through this. I have told the Lord I am weary of this character-building but I know He doesn't need a consultant in this matter because, goodness knows, I'd be doing a lot of things differently (like never allowing cancer in my body). No doubt . . . I know as well as He does that I have a long way to go before I resemble Him.

Anyway, I was grateful when I felt the Lord's presence, hope and peace in a more tangible way on Saturday. I needed to "feel" He cared even though I knew it in my head. I'm grateful His grace was sufficient in my weakness. Even the pain I experienced was minimal in comparison to what it has been over the past two weeks. I was able to do some activities I wouldn't have dreamed of attempting even a week ago, and I even sat through a movie without any Celebrex! Regardless of pain or no pain, the Lord gave me a sense of His presence and peace, and I had a feeling very similar to the feeling I had going into surgery the day Dr. Lin removed the tumor from my arm. I wasn't fearful, and I didn't have the usual "what's next in this hellish journey" worry. I felt hope and confidence in Him. And I repeat, I felt His peace. I realize this peace doesn't guarantee a cancer-free report, but I definitely did not have this peace awaiting the MRI results of my left hip/pelvis in early November.

And so, I praise Him for the provision of an initial good report, and I thank you for your prayers that press me into Him - allowing me to see Him more clearly and believe He is my God of the impossible. And, of course, thank you for asking and believing boldly for my healing. I will keep you updated on Dr. Keefer's thoughts post-New Years, but for now, I am so grateful for a more promising beginning to 2014. We will have more reasons to celebrate tomorrow, that's for sure.

PRAYER REQUESTS
- Pray for wisdom as Dr. Keefer evaluates my bone scan. I would love to hear my body is clean but I don't want him to miss anything and provide me false hope. Lord, please heal these areas of concern.

- Regardless of the initial great news, the pain in my right hip/pelvis and right shoulder blade/chest are still there and still a concern. I truly want to believe this is healing pain. Dr. Keefer thinks some of the skin pain could be neuropathy from the radiation, and when he re-evaluated my right hip x-ray, he said my right femur/joint looked beautiful. I'll take that. I told him, "If this pain isn't cancer, I know the pain will feel better immediately." It is crazy how our mental psyche plays into all of this. Regardless, it would be good to know why I'm having pain (w/o cancer in the equation). It could definitely be radiation-related. And, I'm always open to God just removing it. :)

- HUGE praise is that my bloodwork looked good and my nurse was very pleased with my liver enzymes (which were a concern last time). So, I was released to take the full dose of Votrient (my chemo pill). I was ecstatic and thankful to hear my liver is taking this medication well! I now take four pills every morning, and thus far, the only side effects have been nausea, decreased appetite, headaches and a rumbly tummy. My hair continues to lighten so it will be an adventure to see how things change. Above all, the prayer is for this chemo pill to destroy any chance of cancer spreading with minimal short-term or long-term side effects.

- I return to MDA the week of January 26. I will have MRIs of my full spine, hip/pelvis and right leg. I will also have a CT scan of my chest. I will meet with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Brown, and my sarcoma doc, Dr. Benjamin. Continued prayers for all of these areas to be in the process of healing and cancer-free forever.

- It's still a waiting game - something I am getting used to but will never like. Please pray for my heart to continue to trust Him for big things. That I might experience the same peace, hope and confidence in Him that I did that last couple of days. A dear sister, Kari, reminded me of this command in Romans.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

This is where I am folks. I pray you will join me as we enter 2014 to rejoice in the hope Christ brings, to be patient as we continue down the road to healing, and persevere boldly in prayer. Love to you all!

Welcome to our world

“Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you. He is Christ the Lord!”  Luke 2:11

He’s the reason we celebrate today. He’s the reason we experience forgiveness. He’s the reason we can have hope in the midst of darkness and confusion. And goodness, I live on hope these days. Even with the unusual pain I’ve been experiencing, even with longing to be healthy and cancer-free, even with the yearning to have many more years with my family, I can reflect on Christmas, what Jesus did and find comfort. I’ll be honest, being cancer-free would provide even more comfort but that’s not my reality – at least not today. I’m so sad I can’t say that right now but – I can’t. (Although, we’re praying boldly that “cancer-free” will be my reality in 2014.)

So, I look to the babe who gave up everything to give me everything. He knows what it means to count the cost. He knows what it means to hear His Father’s voice and submit, even when it was infinitely hard, even when it didn’t make a lick of sense. Bottom line - He knows . . . and the beautiful thing is He knows me, my heart, my desires, my fears. He knows because this little babe was fully God wrapped in humanity. And for that, I am thankful. Although I love so many of the Christmas carols and hymns we sing during this season, I can’t help but look at the little baby Jesus who chose to come to man by the humblest of means and sing . . .

Jesus loves me. This I know.
For the Bible (manger) tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
They are weak but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The Bible (manger) tells me so. 

Thank you, Jesus, for coming to us when we needed you most – when I needed you most. Thank you for the promise you will never leave us. Thank you for Christmas.

The most wonderful time of the year!

It is, without a doubt, my favorite time of year!! I love transforming our home into the spirit of Christmas with festive decorations, candles burning, Christmas dishes and the sounds of Christmas (which means I play music all day long). All of the tradition takes me back to Christmases growing up – when there was typically snow on the ground, Christmas records playing in the background, and the guarantee there would be a smorgasbord of delicious food at Nonie & Paka’s.

I can’t emphasize enough how much I love this season, and the love of Christmas is spreading to Alexa as well. She loves snuffing out the Advent candles, unwrapping an ornament each day to hang on her Advent tree, reading Christmas stories in the candlelight, memorizing scriptures about Jesus’ birth, singing Christmas carols, going to sleep staring at her little Christmas tree, and I can’t tell you how excited she is to open the gifts under the tree. But most of all, I pray she loves the story behind the celebration – baby Jesus. I will elaborate more on this perfect gift in tomorrow’s post. But for now, I wanted to update you a bit on our lives (since we haven’t provided one since leaving for Disney).

I apologize for the delay. When we got home from Disney, besides being very tired and recovering from a sinus infection, our world flurried into Christmas prep – wrapping gifts, making Christmas goodies and sending cards. As the celebration is almost here, our life slows a bit and I can sit down to write and reflect (more reflection tomorrow). For now, I’ve included a few images from our little home and some images from our recent ice storm. Finally, there are a few prayer requests on the status of my ongoing battle with cancer. By the way, Disney World was wonderful, and I will post a blog with plenty of pics in an effort to share what a special time we had at the most magical place on earth.

Alexa’s little tree in her room. It even lights up – so much fun!!

A WINTER WONDERLAND

Our poor Crepe Myrtles may not spring back – so sad.

These were the icicles hanging over the back-up camera on our mini-van.

PRAYER REQUESTS

I think most of you simply wanted an update on how I‘ve been doing. I can’t tell you what a gift it was to have your prayers while we were at Disney World. I felt really good and had a “divine” amount of energy. My pain level was minimal during the day, and the only time I hurt pretty bad was in bed at night. Surprisingly, I had great endurance and normally hit the sack around 1am.

Getting home was another story. I did get sick at Disney World but the pain worsened at home. I battled a very painful cough (painful in my back) among other disgusting allergy issues. I am currently on an antibiotic to finish this illness off as well as a prescription cough medicine to halt those painful coughs.

- The biggest concern, though, has been an increased pain in my right hip/pelvis and upper right femur. It feels eerily like the pain I had in my left hip prior to discovering cancer there. It is a pretty constant pain.

- I have also had a troubling pain in my right shoulder blade spreading around to my chest. Some feels like bone pain and some feels like skin pain (it is very tender to the touch) – weird and hard to describe but troubling nonetheless.

- I feel like my back pain is decreasing but I move like an old lady to prevent the pain. Sudden movements send chills up my spine – literally. My back is incredibly tight, and I am unsure when I’ll be released to stretch it more. We simply continue pleading with the Lord that the stereotactic radiation destroys all of the cancer in my body – forever.

- I meet with my OKC oncologist, Dr. Keefer, this Thursday, Dec. 26 for my bi-monthly bloodwork and blood pressure check as well as my monthly bone-strengthening shot. Please pray my levels – especially my liver enzymes – are strong enough for me to increase my chemo pill dosage to the full dose of four pills a day. I am currently on three. Please pray, that regardless, this chemo pill WILL work and prevent the spread of more cancer. Pray for no harmful side effects.

- I am going to ask Keefer for an order to do MRIs on the areas of concern. Pray he would have the wisdom to know what to do concerning my pain and please ask the Lord to prevent this from being cancer.

- We ask the Lord daily (multiple times a day) for His miraculous healing on my body. I battle constant discouragement and worry with the constant pain. Then, I have to bring my thoughts back to Him and trust in what I can’t see or feel. It’s a nasty cycle I deal with moment-by-moment-by-moment. Oh Lord, please make 2014 a year of encouragement and healing! Do the impossible.

- My hand’s range-of-motion continues to increase with my hand therapy (currently going three times a week). My strength is still a concern. At my last assessment, my therapist considers a functioning hand at 25lbs of grip strength. Mine is currently 5 lbs. On the other hand (literally), my left hand has 55 lbs of grip strength. So you can see, I have a long ways to go to get my strength back. Please pray my flexibility and strength will continue to improve.

I’m sure there’s more to share and I’ll probably remember more lying in bed tonight, but I’ll retire for now and meditate on the beauty of Christ’s descent to man. Thank you, Lord, for being Emmanuel – God with us!!

Do you believe in magic?

You’ll find this hard to believe (mainly because I’ve kept it under wraps for so long – even Alexa doesn’t know), but by the time you read this, we’ll be boarding an airplane to spend the week at Disney World with my family!! This was definitely not on our December agenda, but my Mom’s sales representatives, senior management and several of her co-workers joined together to “sponsor” a trip to Disney World for my family.

Thank you Balfour!! I mean, isn’t that a kick!? We were totally humbled by their generosity . . . blown away, overwhelmed, stunned. There truly aren’t words for a gift as generous as this. I think we all cried when we heard the news. I still can’t wrap my mind around such a gift. We are so, so grateful.

You see, one of the vacations we planned and booked this summer was to take Alexa Hope to Disney World. She went when she was 18 months old, but we knew she would enjoy it much more now. How disheartening when we had to cancel due to my chemo schedule and the uncertainty of my treatments. To be able to surprise her with this trip will be magical. We can’t wait to see her face when she finds out she is going to Disney World and her Mimi, Pop, Aunt Hol, Ry-Ry and Layton will be there too!!


We thought we would give her her very own pair of glass slippers for her magical time at Walt Disney World.

Snow Day & PR Update

It was a fun extended (and snowy) weekend as Daddy got to spend Friday with us since OU’s campus was closed. Alexa was delighted to see snow on the ground and enjoyed trudging around in the frigid temperatures. (Mommy wasn’t as big of a fan, but I goose bump at 80 degrees.)


We also enjoyed taking in the spectacular Christmas lights at Chesapeake Energy in OKC. Again, I much preferred viewing them from my heated seat in the car but Alexa’s enthusiasm warmed my thoughts while we walked around outside.

I also had the privilege of hanging out with some very salty ladies and learning the art of sugar cookie icing. My cookies definitely aren’t perfect, but they don’t look awful, especially for having a one finger, one thumb handicap. I look forward to trying my skills out again next year. To see what real sugar cookie art looks like, check-out Shannon’s Christmas tree and snowman below! Unbelievable!!

I LOVE this time of year. The house is all decorated and smells of hollyberry candles. We are in full swing with Advent, and we listen to Christmas music all day long. It truly can’t get any better than that . . . unless it includes snuggling with your lil’ girl while gazing at the Christmas tree and sipping a cup of Williams Sonoma hot chocolate with melty marshmallows. Now, it truly can’t get any better than that!

Now that I’ve pondered the best of this season, let me get to the nitty gritty of my life (sigh). I had an appointment with my oncologist this morning to check my bloodwork and liver enzymes. Here’s the latest on my journey to healing and how you can be lifting me up. Sorry I’m so needy these days.

PRAYER REQUESTS

- My blood work and blood pressure looked good minus a modest increase in one of the four liver enzymes they check, so the doc has increased my Votrient dosage (the chemo pill) from 2 pills/day to 3 pills/day. The end goal is 4 pills/day (which would be most effective). I will go back in two weeks to see how everything looks and hopefully I’ll be released for the full dose.

- Please pray the Votrient would be effective in eliminating the spread of this nasty cancer. We are praying it stops dead in its tracks – forever.

- Please continue praying for minimal side effects from the Votrient, the ones they’ve emphasized are – high blood pressure, liver damage, fatigue, decreased platelets & white blood cells and loss of hair pigment. At the moment, it seems my liver and my hair are the greatest concern. I have noticed the roots of my hair lightening. I am not ready to be white-headed but Chris reminded me I had hair, so that’s a bonus. Regardless, I’m still sad about it. It makes me look more sick and is just another reminder of loss. Other side effects I’ve been experiencing are headaches and decreased appetite. I weighed 122 lbs today with clothing, boots and a coat, so I need to put weight on, not lose anymore.

- My lower back and hip/pelvis pain has decreased but it is definitely still a concern and something I deal with on a daily basis. I control it mainly with heat, narcotics, Celebrex and prayer. I would love to experience the disappearance of this pain because it would convince me the radiation is working and would allow me to work-out again (which means I would gain more stamina). Just walking is a chore. Bending over is unheard of, and coughing or sneezing brings me to tears.

- I have been experiencing tightness in my lungs and pain in my right femur. Of course, my mind goes directly to cancer. They x-rayed both areas of concern today and did not see anything. However, we are going to keep a close eye on it and may have to do more imaging if the pain continues. Would you please ask the Lord to remove this pain and that it is only referred pain, not more bad stuff. I get very discouraged just thinking about it. Worry is a constant battle.

- Continue praying the stereotactic radiation is killing the heck out of the cancer in my T2 & L2 vertebrae and hip/pelvis.

- I have enjoyed my hand therapy and have seen progress in the functionality of my right hand (I can use scissors. I can turn a doorknob & car keys. I can put A’s hair in a ponytail, etc.). Please pray this would continue and I would stay disciplined in doing my daily exercises.

- I return to MDA at the end of January for follow-up scans and appts. I have been thankful for the escape from “Cancer Central” but I am always waiting for another ball to drop when I go back. Please pray I could rest in Him during this time away and put my confidence in Him and His healing hand. That I would anticipate good news not bad.

- You can pray for my heart. I’ve been more discouraged than usual. The reality of my condition can be so weighty, so frightening, so uncontrollable. The pain never helps with my attitude. There have been many days in the past month I’ve desperately wanted my old life back – to feel good again, to not have to wake-up early every morning to take a chemo pill, to just be a Mommy & wife. It’s still hard to accept “my reality.” Tears come more often than I would like.

In light of this, here’s is a passage I’ve been trying to live out. It was given to me by a cancer survivor and hangs on my fighting wall. I love this translation. (Ty Miss Margaret!)

“Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! . . . Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” Philippians 4:4-7 (The Message)

Never alone

“God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’”   Hebrews 13:5-6


I have said more than once along this journey there are times I haven’t “felt” the Lord’s presence. I know the passage in Hebrews (and so many others) promises He is with us – always – but it sure doesn't always feel like it.

And yet, it is often when I feel most alone, a dear friend (or quite honestly a person I don’t even know) will encourage me with a timely scripture, a hand-written note or a simple text letting me know I am not forgotten. It is then I realize Christ’s presence is often “felt” most strongly through His body of believers. It’s as if He’s whispering to me, “You see, daughter, I do love you. I know you don’t think so, but I’m pouring out my extravagant love on you through others. They know and I know what is going on. We ache with you. You are not alone.”

Time and time again, I have been overwhelmed to tears by the sacrificial love shown to me and my family (and that’s just the tangible stuff I am privileged to experience). I can’t fathom what is happening in the heavenlies when my precious army of prayer warriors lifts me and my family up to the Father. I am confident He hears each request, and I believe He can heal me if He wants (and that is our continual heart’s cry). With your petitions comes peace, so please don’t stop. BIG things happen when we plead to the Lord. (For example, I never would’ve dreamed I’d be able to make a heart shape with both of my hands again & look at what prayer, hand therapy and a big God did – see pic above.)

Although there are so many more reasons for which I’m thankful, I’m going to end my “thankful” posts with one dedicated to – YOU!! There are no words to adequately express what you’ve meant to me . . . no words. Like the paralytic man in Matthew 9, you have carried me to the foot of Jesus when I couldn’t come to Him myself. Like Aaron and Hur lifting Moses’ hands to defeat the Amalekites, you have held me up in prayer when I was too weak – physically or spiritually – to proclaim victory over the Enemy and believe big.

Although, I continually ask the Lord to remove this painful thorn from my life, I am grateful for the ways He manifests His presence to me (through you) in the midst of great darkness. I know I never would have experienced His presence in this way otherwise. Truly, truly – we are never alone.

We pray the Lord blesses you in abundance for the many, many ways you’ve blessed ours!! Here’s a small (and I mean small) sampling of the thoughtful ways you have loved on me and my family. I included the song by Matt Redman (below) for you to listen to as you read through this post. Even though the song is about the Lord’s presence with us, it always comes to mind when I think of my precious support system – for those I’ve met and for those I don’t know personally. Thank you for never leaving me or my family abandoned on this often desolate road. It would be quite desolate, indeed, without you.




Here’s a pic of the fighting wall in my room. The wall displays cards, artwork, quotations and poems from my supporters. It will soon have a verse from my sis-in-law above the boxing gloves. Our postman, Mr. V (see him below), said he’s never seen an individual receive as many cards & deliveries as I have in his tenure with the postal service. Now – that is saying something! Needless to say, I need a larger wall for all “the love” that comes my way.


Our precious postman (yes, I said postman), Mr. V has followed my story since the beginning. He has such a caring (and generous) heart. We could chat all day if he didn’t have more deliveries to make. After he found out we’d be going to MD Anderson for treatment, he dropped by our home one day after his work and gifted Alexa with her very own iPad Mini. He said it would give her something to do on the long road trips. It was all ready to go with her name on the wallpaper. She was elated! We didn’t even know what to say. It blew us away.


My dear friend, Candelon, took the reigns as my juicing guru when we began the enormous task of altering my nutrition. (Just so you know, organic juicing takes a tremendous amount of time and money.) She sacrificially gave of her time to grocery shop, clean and juice numerous jars of fresh produce for me – even delivering them fresh to my front doorstep. Then, she educated me and my mom on how it’s all done. You’re a gem, sweet Candelon!


Emily, the redhead on the right, has organized numerous “cleaning parties” at our home, where gals from our church bless my Type A, OCD heart with a wonderfully clean and anti-bacterialized home. Ty for cleaning our toilets, sweet sisters!! I don’t know if it’s more humbling for me or for you.


You’ve met Miss Carol in our Fall blog. She is a beautiful, selfless sister who took it upon herself to adopt Alexa (and Mommy) during my chemo treatments this summer. Alexa continues to visit Miss Carol each week (while I go to hand therapy) because she loves her and has so much fun. From swimming to making cookies, Miss Carol has given Alexa something to smile about each week.


My hairstylist of twelve years, Marcie, surprised me with her generosity when I had gone to her for a simple bang trim before our photo shoot in Galveston. She not only reshaped my locks but also gave me completely fresh highlights. Viola! I looked like a new woman. I posed for this pic right after the style to send my family. We love you Marcie!


One of my besties, Shannon, offered to photograph our family in Galveston before chemo claimed my hair. I will always treasure these images because I don’t when I’ll look like that again. It was a special time with Shannon’s family as well as we hung out on the beach. Shannon, you know how much I love the way you’ve captured our story from the very beginning. And, you know how much I love you. Thank you for such a meaningful gift!!


These are all handmade prayer quilts made by various friends or friends of friends. I feel quite loved when I wrap up in a quilt symbolizing the prayers of so many. Aren’t they beautiful!?


Another prayer quilt I recently received from my cousin. Ty and love you Judy!!


Another blanket and two handmade prayer shawls that are used religiously for surgeries and to keep warm in the morning when I read. Alexa sleeps with the pink blankie every night. For some reason, she thinks it is hers. This is what the label stitched on it says (my favorite verse through this season).



I love this leather wrap bracelet given to me by another sister who is fighting her own cancer battle. Ty Andrea!! She also gave me a turquoise one when I feel more funky. The bracelet also has my fave verse for this season on it – Isaiah 41:10.


On occasion, I receive gifts like the one above from an anonymous supporter. Ty to this thoughtful individual who has been faithfully praying for me for several months.


Chris’ co-workers at OU recently gave us this “blessing” tree loaded with gift cards to our favorite places. I cried when he texted me this picture – I just cried. For me, it was another indication of how deeply Chris is loved by those with whom he works. And of course, I feel deeply loved too.


This was another evening, I broke down in tears. Another body of believers (Norman Community Church) gathered together in a home to spend an evening praying over us. It was so beautiful to hear the saints cry out to God for my total healing and then sing praises to His name. Your faith deeply blessed my heart.


Robin, you know I love these socks. I wish this sentiment were true all the time but it’s a good reminder nontheless – especially when I go in for scans.


Other inspirational plaques I see every day as a reminder not to give up.




Had to include these beauties picked by Alexa Hope early on in my diagnosis.


The pink banner says “flourish.”



As I said, these are only a sampling of the love that’s been shown to us over the past eight months. There has been lawn mowing (ty Jonathan & Bo), meal providing (ty TBC ladies and BSF friends), Alexa watching (too many to thank) and so, so, so much more. We truly feel so blessed by your partnership with us to pray for healing and encourage us in big ways and small. We love you!!

In a post coming soon, I’ll share about a gift given to us of such magnitude & generosity, it will blow your socks off. Let me just say, it includes plane tickets!