Hello world!!

Hi friends . . . it’s me. The gal who used to update this blog. I know. It’s been a LONG time. Trust me. It hasn’t been because I didn’t want to. It’s been on my to do list for months now – “Update the blog.” I just haven’t felt very capable. And so, it hasn’t happened . . . week after week after week. (Sigh)

I’ve had so many thoughtful friends text me, email me or leave a voice message to check on me in light of my absence. I truly, truly appreciate your concern! Thank you for caring enough to check on me. Goodness, I definitely feel like the past three months have been some of the most trying in my adult life. I’ve referred to it as living in the twilight zone. Chris has called it (pause) “interesting.”

It has been a colorful season. So, before I hop back on the hamster wheel of blogging, I wanted to provide a synopsis of the happenings in our family over the past several months and why I took a hiatus.

Ironically, it all started with the ending of a pink pacifier. Sure, the post I wrote in November sounded like life was all rainbows & roses but that was only two days in. Ha! We are still dealing with the affects of removing Alexa’s prized possession. Not that she asks for it – she’s long past that. Long story short – Alexa had to learn how to go to sleep without the help of her pacifier. Almost three months in and I still feel like we are in detox. Sleep became elusive because Alexa didn’t know how to do it anymore. And goodness, I didn’t realize what an amazing sleeper she was until she wasn’t. Waking two to three times a night, screaming frantically for me. Crying for me to rock her. Needing me to sleep by her side. Refusing to take a nap. Climbing into our bed at night. Unable to go to sleep until 11:30, 12:30 or 1:30am. Constantly needing me in her room for bedtime, naptime and anytime she woke-up in-between (and trust me, she knew when I tried to sneak out). Add into the equation our little girl, who has been potty-trained for several months, started peeing in the bed (no doubt, she was always upset about it but it still happened) and refusing to poop again. She also decided she was tired of her crib and wanted to sleep (I mean jump around & play) on the crib mattress on the floor.

Let’s just say it was a lot of transition in the midst of Chris finishing grad school and being gone a lot. Smack dab in the middle of the holiday season – which meant shopping, decorating & traveling for two weeks as well as juggling the demands of my job for Shannon Ho Photography which is always very busy during the holiday season. Oh yeah, and I got sick too.

Needless to say, we were all sleep-deprived. I felt like the mother of a newborn except newborns go back to sleep after you feed them. The real kicker wasn’t the lack of sleep or the totally inability to help Alexa go to sleep, it was the everyday battles (often quite unpredictable) that had only intensified in our strong-willed little whipper snapper. I mean – knock down, drag-out battles that had Mommy & Alexa in tears. We were perplexed. We were weary. We were discouraged. And, I for one, was especially hesitant to go anywhere. I never knew when Alexa might explode and I’d leave a public place flustered & frustrated with a child, irrationally kicking & screaming. Be it getting dressed or eating, everything was a potential battlefield. And, I had to pick my battles wisely.

I sensed this season was far more than just figuring out the most effective discipline/parenting style. I felt it was spiritual warfare, and as far as I was concerned, my daughter wasn’t up for grabs. She is a child of the King and I was going to fight for her on my knees. Her life is a gift and I wasn’t going to let her slip through my hands. I love the way the Father has made our daughter – and I mean that. Even with her will of steel, Alexa can charm the socks off you in a moment’s notice. She’s bright as a button, loves to play pretend, and will sing all day long. No kidding – she is always singing. I know God didn’t make one mistake when He created her. I know He has tremendous purpose for her life. So the last three months have been poured over with tears. With reading and reciting the promises from God’s Word over our daughter. It has been bathed in deep, deep intersessions to the Father for wisdom, for us to admit our weakness & trust His strength, for peace & self-control over our precious child’s heart, for the Enemy to quiet his influence on her behavior, and for the Father to take that beautiful strong-willed heart of our daughter’s & shape into the heart of a warrior princess. One that won’t sway to the world’s influence but one that will stand unflinchingly for Truth.

In the midst of the trenches, I didn’t know how to craft my thoughts into a blog update. Even if it was just a simple update, I was much too weary to write it. In light of all of this, however, we have been encouraged over the last couple of weeks.

Daddy graduated and he is home with us much more now. All of the Christmas hoopla is over (and put away). We are slowly getting back into a new routine. We have taken much of January to talk through our vision for 2013 – evaluating strengths & weaknesses, planning travel adventures, creating project lists and figuring out how we can grow & minister together as a family. Who knows – Chris & I might even have a few dates in the mix!

I know the battles with Alexa aren’t over (are they ever with a strong-willed child) . . . but they have lessened in frequency & intensity. Alexa is learning to go to sleep by herself – in her big girl bed, no less. Of course, I say that and she is currently asleep in ours. She hasn’t had an accident for weeks now. We are all getting more sleep. Alexa and I are being more social again. And, Mommy & Daddy are gaining more effective tools in helping us prevent battles before they begin or in minimizing the intensity of them when they do happen.

There is so much more to share about the events of the past months, and I will definitely try. I apologize some of it will be old news, but I hope to be much more consistent in the days, weeks & months to come. If the blog goes stale again – at least you’ll have a good idea why (wink, wink), and you can pray for us too!