Our precious Alexa Hope

It’s been a week and a day since the D&C and I am feeling more like myself (physically). I’m so thankful for that and for God’s sustaining grace on the good days and specifically the days that haven’t been so good. Thank you for your continued prayers! 

One of the things I did with my 1st miscarriage and have begun implementing again is an “outlook of gratitude.” Honestly, this should be the way I live life everyday – I don’t know why it takes heartache to force me to take stock for that which I’m thankful. Regardless, I desire to focus on the blessings I do have rather than focusing on the “hope deferred” (Proverbs 13:12). Trust me, I will have enough reminders of the disappointment in the days to come – seeing a pregnant woman shopping for her baby, watching a family of four eat at a restaurant, holding a newborn baby, or simply being reminded of the loss in my daily thoughts. The loss of our baby is now another aspect of who I am, a part of my story, and a part of God’s plan. Accepting that is part of the journey.
However, I don’t need to sulk in that. It’s just not healthy nor is it healing . . . but HOPE is. Paul exhorts us not “to grieve like the rest of men who have no hope” (I Thess 4:13). And that FINALLY gets me to the point of this post . . . hope . . . particularly, Alexa Hope.


You see, if God hadn’t taken our first baby home to be with Him, we never would have known Alexa Hope. It’s been healing to look at these one-year-old images of our precious Alexa Hope and be reminded God has a plan. He is always good – in loss and in life. He has a plan that’s perfect for our individual lives, perfect for our family, and perfectly in line to glorify Himself. I’ll be saying this a lot in future posts because I need to write it and believe it – so bear with me – God knows what He’s doing.

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” Isaiah 55:8-9
So all of that to say, we can cling to hope because our hope is in Christ -  He promises never to leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). That’s quite a promise. And when hope seems elusive on those really tough days (which I know will come again), I have these sweet images of “our hope fulfilled” to remind me that – sometimes – God goes far beyond our deepest intercessions and gives us a gift we never deserved nor could ever imagine. I am so, so grateful to have those bright brown eyes to gaze into on my “yucky” days. Now that’s something for which to be very grateful. We ARE truly blessed.